New Year - New me.......................Ya think?

Well folks, One of my resolutions for the new year was to keep blogging. I am finding it is kind of therapeutic and/or thought provoking for me. Actually, it is a way to brain dump and clear out the clutter if you will. Now with all of the self analyzing one does through this, I have found that I am quite lazy. I think about sitting down everyday to go over some of the happenings and such, and decide I am too tired or would rather play some mindless game on pogo. I guess that is my escape. But with thinking about everything that is going on in my life, I have decided that laziness is one of my faults that needs attention.

Now I don't mean physically lazy as I can work long hours doing physical labor, but I am problem lazy. I mean that I am lazy when it comes to problems I could or should handle and address. It could be financially, emotionally, physically, etc. In writing this I am finding that I am lazy when it pertains to me.

I spend so much time being there for other people, my family, my job, some of my friends, that I am finding that those things are all that keep me going. Knowing I can make a difference in other folks life, whether it is to make them laugh, listen to them talk about things that are important to them, make them more comfortable, etc.

Now in changing that one should not stop doing those things because I feel that is important to be there for people, but, one should develop a balance. If I am going to spend x amount of hours on other folks, I should spend x amount of hours on me, bills, future, keeping up on whats happening in the world, working out, quit smoking, take care of my skin better, etc.

Now I know some of these things sound like easy tasks and/or simple things, but, for me, its just doing it and not making excuses for not doing it. Also, I have found that if it is a hard or problematic thing, it is better left alone. I have realized that I have an avoidance issue along with being lazy! I need to take care of this stuff - my god - this is very hard to realize about one's self.

So below is a list of things I want to take care of and/or resolutions to be accomplished. With that said, change does not happen overnight, so I am not going to give up and they may be or will be things that take time, but I feel a renewed sense of energy and initiative to get them addressed. Its like being an alcoholic, in a sense, that you can't change or address an issue, unless you first admit you have a problem. Also, I need to practice what I preach. Today, my friend David felt like he did not hold to his resolutions because he hasn't done anything up to this point since the clock struck 12 on New Years eve. Well, I reminded him that it is still the first of the year, which means it is never too late to start! He kind of looked at me and laughed because he knew I had a point. Now I need to take that and turn it onto myself.

*Begin a cigarette diet - Keep track of how much I smoke each day and cut it down by one each day - until I have none!!! I really want to accomplish this because I am really sick of having this crutch, the smell, the costs, the damage it is doing, etc.

*Start working out daily - I am going to get on the cardio machine with the intention that I will go for as long as I can followed by some arm, chest, and leg weight training, ab exercises, and squats. I am not going to be down on myself if I don't go as long as I think I should or not work out for the mind set 20 minutes to an hour. Just do it and see where it leads.

*Pay off student loan and IRS - This will be throughout the year - but will be looked at and addressed periodically to make sure I am on target and making extra payments.

Those are the major issues I want addressed and now they are in black and white, so it will either be depressing or uplifting, but will be reminder if not anything else.