Another Day - - - - - - I Survived

Well - The day started much like it ended, with me overwhelmed and down in the dumps! My friend David called me concerning last night's post and initially was very pissed that I wrote some of the things that I did. He explained that it scared him and we ended up talking about all of the shit that, surprise-surprise, is basically within me. He hit on a nerve when he said that once I know I deserve better and expect better, things will get better. I am thinking he has a good point. Maybe, because I grew up always having my dreams dashed and being pushed aside and overlooked, that I expect that to be the way it is now. Because I expect it, I am making it come to pass! Now its going to be a long process to get to deserving happiness, demanding more for me from people, and giving myself the much needed break that we discussed. He made me see that I will have to concentrate on the basics for awhile of getting through the day and taking care of myself and Roxy and forget the other shit until I am more able to handle it. I am not sure how I will do with it, but, it is a start and cannot hurt to try and get myself through this. I am so glad he took the time to call me and give me hell like only David can do! LOL
Once that conversation was over, I made myself make Tuna Salad and had lunch. I had a tremendous headache, so I took some Tylenol and laid down for a few hours. Once I got up, I showered and got ready and went over to the store. I accomplished so much and worked until about 10 p.m. Sometimes work does take you away from your own problems. I am doing laundry as I type this and plan on getting a good nights sleep, getting up early and finishing laundry, give Rox a bath, clean my room for the million(Th) time, and get ready to leave here around noon. David has sent me money for my trip to Columbus. He does not realize how very generous that was of him or how grateful I am for it. He could never know how much his friendship means to me! I truly think that he is the only person who knows what I am going through or even cares at this point, because he has been there himself and in some respects still is.
I spoke to my sister this evening and I think she is so excited about my visit. Of course, she insisted I tell when I would be at her house, what I wanted to eat, how long I could stay, etc., and I felt like I was being drawn back into the mentality of worrying over the little shit - that is my family! I know I will get through it if I use my sense of humor and keep in my mind it is only a weekend. It is currently snowing and we have about an inch. I am hoping that it lets up and I have no issues traveling to Columbus tomorrow. I think it will be healthy for me to see my family and friends in Columbus. My good friend Michele is having her 50Th Birthday party and she tells me everyone is asking about me. There is a big group of friends that I haven't seen in forever going and it will be great to see them.

I will probably not be able to post to my blog, as I do not have a laptop to take with me! I will definitely be posting on Sunday Night. We shall see...................