From Being Idle to American Idol

Well, I have been up on this mountain going on 11 months and this winter has been full off many challenges! One of the most recent challenges has been feeling guilty when I am not busy every day! Currently, I do not have a set schedule and basically work Friday (about 8 hours), Saturday (about 10 hours) and Sunday (about 6 hours).

Today, we had the cook in cleaning out the storage area that the new "Male Pouch" store is going in. The Cleaning person (Michael) was updating cabins and Gil who was cleaning out air conditioning units and helping Michael. Matt was in the store all day ordering items for the new store, which meant that I could not get anything done in there. Not that I had anything pressing!

So I decided to catch up on the news, get some reading done, download a few songs, and take a nap. When I woke up, I felt guilty because I was the only one on the mountain not accomplishing anything. Well, Rick walked in and asked what I had been doing and it was just a conversational question, but, I felt compelled to make sure he understood my role in the winter versus the summer. I explained that I am not getting a paycheck since October and not until May. I explained that I have to be married to the store over the weekends and that I had explained to Matt that I would be giving him, at least, 20 hours over the winter while I am not on payroll. He responded that he understood and didn't realize I wasn't on payroll, so I am glad I set him straight. I also explained that I felt guilty but I shouldn't because of the agreement and the fact that I make it up on the weekends.

This is all inside of me and no one has given the impression that I am not pulling my weight. In retrospect, I have always been the type of person that has to be busy and feel like I am accomplishing something every day. I think that is a great work ethic and I displayed it by the tremendous amount of hours I used to put in at the bank. I know this is just me and maybe the lesson I need to learn is to accept this part of my life now and try to concentrate more on my personal needs that I would like to accomplish.

While I see folks everyday up here and converse with them, I feel like this is a very lonely time for me. Tomorrow, I am going to go to the bank and deposit my Unemployment Check, just to get off the mountain for awhile.

This evening I watched American Idol with Rick, Tim, and Michael. I felt that it was a great show and my favorites are Pia and James. I think Pia has the entire package and James because I think he is adorable. He is a performer and can sing, however, I am afraid he could fall into the screamer category if he is not careful. Last week, they saved Casey and while I did not agree with saving him as he was never my favorite, I did appreciate their reasoning. Tomorrow night they have to send 2 folks home and I think it should be Thia and Naimi. These two should be followed by, in my opinion, Jacob (Good singer but sings like a drag queen and reminds me of a Muppet) and Casey should go (screams some his songs except this week and not very cute - I think the reddish beard with the Dark hair is nasty and kinda Amish). Stefano is a cutey and did well!

Ok - time for bed..................