An Update.........Been Awhile

Well - its been awhile since I have blogged....!!! I am going to try and update more often now that the unofficial end of summer has come and gone!!!!
Great news though - I no longer am beating myself up over not having a boyfriend because I have realized that alot of possible love interests that I have met here, have a good amount of emotional issues that they have yet to overcome. There can be sooo much drama among these gay guys on this mountain that most of the time I am glad I am single. For once, I have realized that I have alot to offer someone in the way of emotional stability, support, outside interests, monogamy, caring for someone, etc. Not saying that I do not have my issues, but, I keep them as my issues and I face them head on and do not make other folks pay for them. I think my knowing who I am and being sure of my feelings has to be a big turn off to the majority of guys I meet. I try to always remain positive if not for any reason other then, I am in charge of my own happiness and to concentrate on the negative only makes one unhappy. I refuse to allow anyone else to dictate how I am feeling anymore.
I have met a few folks since I have been up on this mountain who I have developed strong feelings for, but, have realized that they would not be good for me. I cannot tolerate being treated good one day and treated like crap the next time I see them. I am pretty even keel and if I like someone, then I try and treat them good every time I see them. I do not understand folks who are fickle. I am pretty much low maintenance and low drama and I am not just saying that for any reason other then it is true. I find myself wondering why some folks can't see that some things are just not worth getting all upset over. I have had many discussions with folks about why they continue to go down a route that is not healthy for them and just give my opinion and move on. I had a discussion today with someone that asked me why he kept on choosing the wrong type of guys. I could only tell him that him wondering that was half the battle. I have noticed that he continues to go from being attracted to one guy and then the next thing ya know, he has the hots for another. I just can't keep up - LOLOLOL - nor do I want to. I value honesty and have realized that some of the people who I have developed friendships with have been dishonest about their feelings for whatever reason. Its disheartening and its OK because they have to look at themselves in the mirror every morning. I can only be there for them and deal with my own feelings privately. I know that I can be intimidating with my honesty and integrity, but I am also human and I have needs. I have fulfilled those physical needs a few times while being on this mountain, but that is not ultimately what I want to do. Eventually, I would like to develop a relationship with someone where we both enjoy being with each other. Where we can be honest with each other. I want to be with someone who isn't afraid to be loved by me and who doesn't require that we have an open relationship. If I had to point one area of sadness that I have to deal with is that I have realized that I really do not have anyone I can talk to about my feelings without judgement. Someone that trusts me enough to let me in and know that they can depend on me.